Train Up A Child
by Kari Mace

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. –Proverbs 22:6

I am involved with the Zerubbabel youth ministry in Boone. I teach Sunday school to the children who are in middle and high school. Although Sunday school teacher is my only official title, my involvement with the children goes much deeper. I live in the same neighborhood with several of the children that are in my class, so I spend a lot of time with them and have a close relationship with them. Because I am not their mother, I can sometimes “be on their level.” This gives them a chance to be open and talk to me about what is really going on in their lives. They know that I care about them and want what is best for them. When necessary, I am also able to step in and discipline them as a parent would.

I have so many different desires for the children in our fellowship. Ultimately, I want them to be clean vessels for Christ to live out His life through. On a daily level, I want them to learn to stand up for themselves and their Christian beliefs in school and with their friends, to care about their friends and classmates, and to treat all people kindly. I want them to have fun in the activities and sports that they choose to do in school, but still have good morals. I want them to respect adults, teachers and all authorities. I want them to care about what God says in the Bible and to take His words and commands seriously.

I know that all I want for them to be and to become will not happen in a vacuum. It takes continual Godly teaching and discipline for children to become responsible adults. Because I live so close to them, I am in and out of their homes often. I am able to help and support them through the difficult teenage years. Sometimes they will listen to me when they won’t listen to their parents (even if I say the same things their parents say)—I guess because of my age. I don’t seem as ancient and out of touch as they believe their parents are. (Although their parents are not that at all.) They also know that they have a safe fun place to come to, and that they can bring their friends too. My door is always open and they can come day or night—to talk or just to hang out.

I also provide some back-up for their parents. I provide “taxi service,” help with schoolwork, and I don’t hesitate to get involved in family arguments. For example, the other night I went to dinner with one of the families; a single mom with two girls. One of the girls was sulking and had a bad attitude about not being allowed to hang out with her friends that night (mind you it was a school night). Her sister was mad at her mother for not allowing her sister to do what she wanted. She kept arguing with her mother. I got very upset with her because she was disrespectful and ungrateful. She just expected her mother to let her sister hang out with her friends because she wanted to. Then she began arguing with me, and her points and logic were terrible. I decided that I was not going to even begin to try and reason with her in this state. Eventually their mother sent them to the car.

Within 24 hours both girls did a 180 in their attitudes towards their mother and in general. They were both sorry for how they had acted and treated their mother. I was very excited to hear about this; it made the whole night worth it. I think it’s the persistent daily teaching and discipline that aided in their turnarounds. If we had just ignored or accepted their bad attitudes and ungrateful behavior, they would have no reason to change.

I am single, but am part of many people’s lives as a surrogate mother/big sister. I am grateful for the opportunity to help whenever and wherever I can. God has given me people in my life who have been to me what I am to these children now. I have been truly blessed by the extended family that God has put in my life. I am now looking forward to having these same girls spend the week with me when their mother goes out of town for work this week. I count it a blessing to be a part of th