Our British friends dominate the mailbox this issue, sharing their insights and understanding. It is thrilling to see the clarity and excitement in so many across the sea, as they persevere in settling who they are for themselves, then forge ahead to pass the truth on to others.
DISTINGUISHING SOUL FROM SPIRIT
Dear fellow believers,
What I am beginning to see…is Christ living this life in me as me. A short while ago when I read, or heard a believer say this of themselves (excuse the expression), it sounded like double dutch. The excitement and thrill I now know from this truth is tremendous.
My feelings used to dominate me: sorrows, sadness, hopelessness and helplessness. I thought my feelings were me. What a joy to know they are only feelings–horrible, but separate from me. The real me is my spirit united to Christ’s spirit, the real true life, the God of the universe. Wonderful!
To those who might be struggling, it will come as it has and is coming to me. Feelings change contimmily but Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. It is He who is living this life in me as me. Thank goodness.
A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT
It was lovely to get your letter, thank you. What you’re doing at work sounds good. I’m also learning how to be assertive at work without being aggressive. Myhistory has always been like a bull in a china shop or a wilting flower being trodden on. I too have had to deal with a few situations, mostly involving the directors, and I feel very afraid and insecure in case I get the sack. The place I have come to is that my Father provides me with all I need, not only the salary from my job; and if He takes that from me then He’ll provide something else and that has helped me a lot.
I’m glad your self-consciousness came up and that you see it as an area to deal with. I have found that all the "things" (or old beliefs to be more exact) about myself must be dealt with in order for me to be more fixed in who I am and to live from that. As I replace old beliefs with the truth of Christ living life as me, then the knowledge of the truth in me is stronger and stronger. So it’s good to deal with these things as I know they are always painful and uncomfortable. Nobody likes it but the Bible says "Consider it all joy etc." It doesn’t say "Feel it all joy"!
I look forward to your phone call and although, while the others, are away we will be the only two people we know of in the country who believe the truth, know that you may feel you need my support but you have all you need in Christ. Even if you were the only person in the world who believed this truth, you’d still have all you need, but fellowship with another of like mind is a pleasure and a privilege. Take care. Speak to you soon.
Christina Duncan Scotland
This year’s spring conference was great for me as I could for the first time really relate to people. Having a history of suppressed feelings and unexpressed emotions, I looked and behaved as though I was lifeless. Having been told last autumn I was a wimp, a serious choice had to be made. Praise God I could choose life, so after having one-to-one counselling and attending a communication skill group, my feelings, emotions and self worth returned.
Being taught we are not our feelings was trouble for me as most of the time I hadn’t any feelings to talk truth back to. Thanks be to God I am normal and have the desire to live a Christ/I life.
FAITH REPLACES FEAR
For some time before going to the Cobham conference, I had been living with fear and a dreadful uncertainty of who I really was. I did not feel like Christ/I. I was believing Satan’s big lie–there was only me and I was responsible. A week before going, the non-existent alone "I" decided I could not go. Then two days before I was due to go, I wakened up one morning and simply said "I am Christ in my form" and made a conscious decision that I was going. I am so grateful for the fellowship I saw and received at Cobham. I saw how believing right changed other people’s lives and their whole attitudes. This has strengthened me to dare to believe who I really am and that there is a great joy and freedom in right believing. All my life Satan has messed me up and I know it and do not want to live like this any more. I believe although I live–Christ lives through me. I am deeply thankful for the conference and all of the Christ people who make it possible for people like me to become fixed in who I am, and therefore live from this.
FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE
Thank you for your letter, and your interest. You remarked on my comments at the conference of my feeding on the acknowledgements of others at my work and even in the church. This was a spontaneous statement, which I believe the Lord had just made me aware of. Thank God that I don’t need that any more. To have Christ in me as me more than makes up. He is my "adequacy", complete in Him. I thank God for release in so many ways. I read such verses as "cast all your care on Him, for He cares for you." One verse in particular, Philippians 4:6, "Don’t worry about anything." These promises and many more like them seemed ineffective and es;ernal. But now knowing Christ living on the inside as me I am dile to transfer all to Him, and He shaorbs the stress and strain, and =re than that He is "my life." NS is surely the "abundant life" lips came to give. This is the Vt fruits." I am glad the maga* is in production again. I am to learn as much as I can. Being a Christian for over 40
ors had got me entrenched in so called which brought me into a lot of bondage. It has taken be a long time to grasp the truth, which is indeed the liberating secret. I intend to join you at Castleton.
TRUTH APPLIED IN A YOUNG LIFE
(Although Faye is only 16, this letter shares a clarity unusual for her age).
After attending the British conferences for all seven years, I still find plenty to learn about who I am and how to deal with the trials and tribulations God sends
Taking one day at a time I put into practice in my life what sounds good in theory. It certainly helps me to know that I am not alone, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
When something seems like the last thing on earth that I want to do but I know that its God’s way, I stop and think– "Well I feel so embarrassed, but Christ is not an embarrassed person so neither am I because Christ lives in me. I’m Christ in my form so I can do this!" I know that I am powerless over my thoughts, feelings and desires. I only have the power to make one choice–which is whether I am believing who I am. If I believe straight then I know it will be the choices of God’s way which Christ lives out as me.
When I’m resisting acting in the right direction, I like to remember this: "You can’t think your way into better behavior but you can behave your way into better thinking." So, keep it simple and do the next right thing!
Faye Rogers Nottingham, England
WHAT SECRETS REALLY ARE
During this 7th British Easter Conference I learned what it really means when people use the phrase "you’re only as sick as your secrets", and having been a bit of a "Miss Goody-Goody" as a child I thought it had little to do with me. How wrong I was!
It’s not the so called "bad" things you have done but the things that keep you from really being who you are in Christ. At conferences and when many of our American friends were in England I have always been very quiet and hardly participated verbally in meetings, if at all. The thing is, I’m not the quiet Jane that everyone thinks I am, and this vessel can be just as loud and fun to be with as the next. To be one thing at
conferences and be another at home and in school seems rather dishonest. This all tends to link into the problem that I see myself as a defective vessel, a "less than", and dissatisfied with the vessel God gave me.
I also learned that this is similar to Lucifer not being satisfied to just be the light bearer as God had instructed: he wanted to be the light and be like the most high. To think that I (unconsciously) was putting myself above God really put things into perspective.
This also ties in with me not verbalizing during meetings, feeling I have to say everything perfectly and not wanting to sound stupid or be wrong, probably trying to hide from confrontation. I have learned to do this in spite of operating differently in other areas of my life (ie. college) and who cares if I say something that sounds stupid or wrong. If I’m living from who I am and Christ means me to sound this way so be it.
In my Spirit I know that I don’t want to be operated from self-for-self in my members but from who I really am– self-for-others, despite the pressure on my soul of the lies that Satan feeds me–you’re really just you, selfishness, feelings etc.
I made the choice to be self-forothers when I accepted Christ as my Savior and will go to any lengths (and pain) to be how God intends this vessel to be. So watch this space!
Jane Rogerson Romford, England
More Articles from The Intercessor, Vol 9 No 4
- More Than An Eating Problem
- Romans Six to Eight, Paul’s Key to the Liberated Life
- Editor’s Note
- Greetings From the Z News Crew!
- Wanted: Faith and Fools
- Why Me God? or How to Deal with Life’s Frustrations
- The Mailbox
- The Solution: The Law & The Cross
- To Think About
- I’ve Been Crucified
- Family Reunion At Blowing Rock, 1993
- Questions & Answers
- Powerless Over Alcohol & LIfe: Step 10
- Words To Live By
- Moments With Meryl
- Excerpt from The Intercession of Rees Howells
- A Look at a Book, A Review: Rees Howells Intercessor