Learning Acceptance
by M.W.

Dear Sanda,

The good news is that I’m going to A.A. I went to what I thought was an open meeting and the leader said they were happy for me to be there as long as I could identify with them. I can identify lots; most of the character defects mentioned by the alcoholics are mine too, resentment, self-pity, anger, etc. and also the attitudes and thinking. I suppose being brought up in an alcoholic home I’ve got the alcoholic mind without the physical addiction. The woman who spoke last night covered everything. One thing she said was if an alcoholic goes to meetings and stops drinking but doesn’t change his thinking he will drink again. Also I’ve heard them say don’t take the first drink, which for me would be don’t take the first bite of Satan’s lie. I’ve learned a bit about acceptance (p. 449, AA Big Book). One man said a few things about my feelings towards my mother which I didn’t like and I reacted to; some of it may have been right but it put me in emotional turmoil for a day. Then I read p. 449 and could accept it as part of the “all God” thing and that was all I was being asked to do at that point. I may have to take some action in the future. Also my boss had given me a deadline to sort out the discrepancy in my petty cash account. I was in a panic over that and angry with God for not helping me sort it out (independent thinking I know). Then I decided to accept that if it was meant to be sorted by now it would be, somehow God has a purpose in it not being sorted. Then after I came to that my boss changed her mind and said we had to concentrate on something else for now and it wasn’t a priority! I picked up some hints on how to deal with the work situation from Meryl as I was up there at the weekend. So work is ok. These last few days when my boss has a go at me and I don’t react she’s left in her stuff and doesn’t get her fix from putting me down etc. She is also from an alcoholic family-so we’re well matched.

My head is getting clearer all the time and not having to do all the controlling and obsessive thinking makes life a lot easier.

M. W.
London England