Questions? & Answers!
Q: I have a sister who has been involved in a homosexual relationship for many years. It seems hopeless that she will change, and most of my family seems to be accepting of her situation, but I am very concerned. How can I help her? I don’t really understand why that lifestyle is wrong, and I wonder if there is something to all that I have heard recently about how people are born that way and can’t help themselves. What do you think?
A: The Bible is clear that homosexuality is sexual immorality and is considered sin in the eyes of God. In I Corinthians 6:9 and 10, Paul says, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." God considers homosexuality as an abomination, comparing it to idolatry, adultery, prostitution, and theft. He clearly will not tolerate much unbelief and warns of the consequences of continuing in what He sees as wickedness.
Why? He explains in I Corinthians 6:13-15: "…the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By His power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us, also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ, Himself?" God wants to have full access to our bodies which were created by Him to contain the Holy Spirit and to be kept pure and clean–available for a life that will honor and glorify Him. In verses 19 and 20, Paul says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body."
We’ve all heard about studies presenting the theory that homosexuals have some genetic predisposition to be attracted to a same sex partner, with the argument that they just can’t help it–"that’s just the way they are." That theory might lead one to believe that either there is no fault or responsibility for the homosexual–or worse, that there is no hope for them to ever find favor in God’s eyes. Neither could be further from the truth. Even if you put stock in the idea that there is some genetic weakness or propensity that "causes" homosexuality, God still provides a way out of sin for anyone who sincerely desires Him. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Cor. 10:13).
Really, we are all born with a natural pull to sin because as unbelievers everyone is "of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father you do" (John 8:44). Homosexuality is no different. Similar research has been done to show that in other addictions, such as alcoholism or compulsive overeating there is evidence of some biological abnormality that is common to the sufferers. Such research only confirms what the Bible has taught for thousands of years–we live in a fallen world, and man needs redemption. We cannot help ourselves!
God knew that and provided for it in His perfect Love by sending His Son to die for all our sins, none worse or better than the other "for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).
Condoning your sister’s choice is only making it more comfortable for her to stay in sin. You could share your concerns and the scriptural basis for them with family members and hope that as a group you could pull together to minister to her. Even if you find no support from your siblings or parents, you can go to your sister in love and share your apprehension. She may not respond with an immediate turning from her sin and subsequent lifestyle, but your willingness to share the truth and God’s love for her will have an impact. Often that kind of confrontation shatters the illusion in the unbeliever that all is okay. They have to face the unsettledness and emptiness of their sin choice.
God wants to rescue her from a life that brings no true pleasure, redeem her from Satan’s bondage, and give to her the abundant life He intended. While she may seem satisfied and comfortable with her present choice, there can be no true satisfaction and comfort while she is in Satan’s control. You can claim that promise for her by your word of faith, against all appearances of any hope for a change in her. Your word of faith will call God into action for the task of changing her "wants," thereby bringing her to a place of a changed will–a desire for Him and a body and life dedicated to His service.