Editor’s Note
1989 Quote
In my mind I see the Boone Conference Center like the hub of a wheel with spokes going out everywhere. Conferences and summer camp are two spokes in that wheel because my picture of what’s going to go on in Boone is so much more than those two spokes. They are just a part of this piece of property, the conference center and the subsequent buildings which will follow on the 40 acres of property there.
…So whoever is in Boone will be like a committee which coordinates things like pamphlets, conferences, videotaping, etc. All the things that we do will be prayed over, looked at in the light of Scripture, and hashed over day by day. That will include things as simple as someone saying, "I got this letter from a lady in Oklahoma, and I don’t have a clue as to how to answer it. Help give me some ideas." l hope the Intercessor will be done there–Page Prewitt
This quote from Page Prewitt and this diagram (see PDF version) describing the Boone Conference Center appeared in the Nov/Dec, 1991 Intercessor. Five years have passed, and those of us who live here in Boone are involved in our Total Living Center in most of the ways projected then. We actually discuss how to answer the lady in Oklahoma as we meet every morning to "hash over" things day by day–the next Intercessor, upcoming conferences, who might return a phone call, books and tapes to be sent out, and regular sessions with those who have come to stay here for a time. Faith becomes substance! What we (God) saw as a vision has become a reality. Thought, word, deed–the Father’s thought, expressed through the Son’s/our word, brought into manifestation by the Spirit. What a privilege to be a part of God’s plan, those of us here and those of you who have believed for and with us.
This letter from Gail Bedell, who has come here for help, exemplifies our real purpose and vision:
Dear Kathy,
In answer to your question: No, I am not ‘there," I am "here"–in Blowing Rock, NC!! So glad you wrote–I’ve been thinking of you off and on for a while now. I "crashed" at the end of November. That is, I was talked to by my principal and the school counselor the Friday before Thanksgiving about my bizarre behavior at school and told to get counseling and/or take sick leave to get well. I have been in a downward spiral for two years and knew it, but kept on pretending it didn’t matter, relying on my own "stinking thinking" rather than truly giving up on "my way" and relying on God and the advice He was offering me through my friends.
So I hit bottom, knowing I was totally unable to pull out. I began to follow the advice of others who have been there themselves and knew me well. One step at a time, I began to see God as greater than Gail and that He was moving circumstances and people into place to do for me what I could not do for myself. To shorten the story, I went on sick leave then long-term disability (and Prozac) for depression and came down here to the headquarters of my fellowship. God’s vision for Zerubbabel has been a Total Living Center for crashed Christians to recover from sin/addictions and to learn who they are in Christ. As it turns out, I am one of the first handful of people to come fully "bottomed out," ready to totally let go of my old ways (Satan’s lies built up over time) and willing to go through the pain of change.
When I got here I was catatonic–staring into space, unable to respond to people, totally self-focused, unable to talk in full sentences, unable to teach and afraid to, and unable to sleep. Now I am being restored to sanity, working the 12-Steps, and becoming human in a way I have never known before. The core of my recovery, however, is learning how to live from Galatians 2:20 in practical everyday life–that as a Christian there is no "just me" that has to "get it together" but Christ is living His life out through me. The discrepancy between believing that and seeing how self-focused I was drove me here for help.
Living in community with people who know my addictions and blind spots keeps me "sober" from self-for-self behavior. I am now in touch with my feelings, especially pain, for the first time in my life; I’ve spent my entire life "high" on books, sex, food, obsessive thinking, resentments, etc. Here, I am around people who have come from similar experiences, can point out when I am "off," and are living examples of what it means to truly be "Christ in my form."
Guess that’s it. I love it here–I feel safe among people who are living restored lives and who stuck with me during these past five years through thick and thin. I now believe in Hell because I’ve had a taste of it. Yet am also beginning to experience God’s total grace in ways I’ve never known because I never let go of my own thinking enough to trust Him. And He is living out in Gail form more freely and selflessly than ever before. It’s just a start, but what a privilege!
I’d love to hear from you.
Loving you, Gail
