Moments with Meryl
by Meryl Langley

Well, I knew this morning that it was time to have-never mind a moment with Meryl-it was time to have several moments. I got up and was feeling very negative, very low, and was just plodding on, putting one foot in front of another. I looked at the schedule for the day and wanted no part of it! I went to go upstairs, and my eyes caught the stair carpet which was threadbare. Believe it or not, it had not been vacuumed for many, many days-well over a week, and I hated it. Upstairs, there was dirty laundry waiting to be put in the basket, which Jonathan could just as easily have done. And I then stood looking out of the window contemplating, and came to the realization that I was feeling resentful of being a wife and mother, having to go out to work and keep home as well.

Then I thought, "Well now, Meryl, what are you going to do about this? The way things are at the moment, I can’t do anything about the stair carpet. But I can call Jonathan to something and say, "Look, you can put your washing in the basket, you do not have to leave it strewn over the top for me to pick up every time".

And then I thought, "Well, what about the stair carpet? What about your life? What about the routine of your day?" Then I knew: this was to fix me in my union with Christ. It was an opportunity for me to say "This stair carpet is perfect for me right now. When I look at it and it’s threadbare, and seems constantly messy, I can look at that and call it perfect". I thought how resentful I felt about going out to work and keeping home and not having much fun. "Well, who is it, Meryl? Who is it that’s going out to work? Who is it keeping home? Who is it not having much fun? That’s right this is Christ/Meryl living here". And then I thought, "I don’t even think I can say that". But you see, there is no independent Meryl to say it. It’ll be Christ that says it, and if I don’t verbalize it by making some faith statements, then God has nothing to work on, and that’s so important. So I verbalize all the time, because that’s all I know to do.

Maybe at the weekend I will see if we can perhaps go swimming or go to the cinema or do something for fun. I do know that Christ/Meryl can change some things, but others I just have to leave as they are accepting them as God’s highest and best (they really are) for us and trust Christ as Meryl can, and will live out. So here I am having a few moments. It was really hard for me this morning, but I did the only thing I knew to do, and left the rest to God.