The All in All
by Norman Grubb

We have said that a conscious self is only such by reason of the capacity to choose; and every self being an outbirth of the original Self is compounded of love. Every self is love and loves itself. Confronted by the conscious choice of an either-or, it can either love itself by living for itself (in apparent illusory independence in its freedom); or it can love itself by giving itself to union with the divine Spirit of self-giving love.

Wherever there is need, love has a debt to pay, and need is the creditor. Love has to pay. That is why we can love our enemies, because a hurter is in greater need than the hurt. That is why in our rebellion and enmity against God, it is not His hurt that concerns Him, but ours. We are the needy ones, and love exists to meet need. Therefore, we boldly say God had to save. It was not a question of condescension or kindly action, it was a debt of love. God had to save, for love has to save: and we, when saved, have to be saviors.

I had the illusory idea that I needed to become something better than I was: I must be a better representative of Jesus Christ, and so forth. I was looking for personal improvement and some further spiritual equipment which would set me on my feet. God and the Spirit were then to be my helpers.

I sought God and searched the Scriptures, as any earnest Christian would do. Surely there in the Bible the answer was to be found, for it talked of love and faith and power and freedom. But the answer I got was in very different terms. It was a confrontation, not this time with the law saying to me, "You ought," but with God turning my attention from myself to Himself by saying to me, "I am." The way it came to me was in that statement I have so often quoted, "God is love." But the emphasis was on the little word "is." It struck me that I had been seeking a God who would say to me, "I have and will give to you." But instead, He was merely saying, "I am," and not "I have." It was as if He were saying to me, "You’ve got it wrong. You thought love was something I had and could therefore share with you. But love is not a thing at all. I am love."

Then I saw that the only self-giving love in the universe is a Person, not a thing. Therefore, it is not something He could share with me, but it is Himself, and He can’t take parts of Himself and give to me. He can only be Himself. It was my first sight of an exclusive God, the One Person in the universe, who gives nothing but is everything, and, therefore, His only giving is to give Himself and just be Himself wherever He does give Himself.

How then do I have my needs supplied, if God had nothing to give me, but in each instance I find that He is (not has) the power, He is (not has) the life; until finally I read that "Christ is (not has) all, and in all"? That last phrase gave me my key. I saw that my mistake was the idea that He would give me things, and that I would thus become something. Now I saw that we humans do not exist to become something, but to contain someone.

—The Spontaneous You