A Note from Jo–On Yielding
I wanted to share a victory I had yesterday after some negative thoughts and feelings I had about something God has given me to do. I won’t go into the details, but it is something I know I must do–it is just obvious; it is my duty and obligation and there is no one else to do it. However, I feel like it is the last thing I want to do. Have you ever been there? You can put your own “thing” there whatever it might be, small or big: go to work, cook supper, give a presentation, take care of a sick person, break a habit etc. I had all the strong feelings of negativity about the whole situation and the more I thought about it the worse the feelings got. On top of that, because of my negative feelings I then felt guilty for feeling that way as well! Satan was right there to say “Look at YOU, YOU shouldn’t be feeling that way. YOU’RE so selfish” etc. The accuser of the brethren trying to make me think I am more than merely a vessel containing the Holy Spirit.
Well, I knew I needed to win the victory within, as Norman Grubb says, in order to win the victory without. So, I chose to “yield”—a Biblical word (see Rom 6:13) that I love because it’s hard to take credit for simply yielding, it’s practically doing nothing—and agree with God that He was in control of this situation: “Is God in control of EVERYTHING that comes my way? Absolutely He is. Is He living in me (joined to me one spirit–1 Cor. 6:17)? Yes, He is. Can He handle whatever it is I have to do? Of course! I am just the vessel containing Him who is Love.” To be blunt–God doesn’t really care how we feel about something. He only cares about whether He is free to use us for His love purposes.
When I am feeling unwilling, He is in me to live out His will (“not my will but yours”—Luke 22:42). All I have to do is recognize there is no me to be willing or to do anything. Christ is here willing and doing: “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” (Phil. 2:13). Ah ha! That was it. Not “my” pleasure but HIS. Once I recognized this truth in the moment it was a burden lifted. Thanks to a little more Norman reading, I also remembered I am the negative to God’s positive. So I am not meant to be willing. I am meant to have those negative feelings. Without them I have no reason to affirm God as the positive in the situation. Worse still, I might allow Satan to trick me into thinking there is a me that can do it and will do a good job! = SIN. So I am grateful I had those negative feelings that pushed me to see through to the Spirit reality in the situation. “Count it all joy….” As a result I can say my “yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:30) even though my feelings may return or continue as I carry out this “thing.” BUT the feelings are no longer in the forefront of my mind. I have victory in knowing that Christ put me in this situation because He wants to live it out through me and He is perfect for the job!
